How FC Dallas Can Make the Playoffs

Garrett Melcer of FC Dallas broke down the possibilities for Dallas to punch that ticket in the postseason. We add a few more.

FC Dallas media guy, Garrett Melcer, got a mini-viral post going as he broke down all of the “on-the-record” possibilities for FC Dallas to secure a spot in the MLS Playoffs. (Click the image if you want to see the tweet in all its glory.)

In essence, win and you are in. Everything else is tricky.

But we have it on good authority here at Afterburn that there are additional ways for FC Dallas to make the playoffs.

• Los Angeles Galaxy forfeits the game on Saturday after it is revealed that their mascot, Cozmo, has engaged in a romantic relationship with Hooper, FC Dallas’ mascot. Internal staff, desperate to see their beloved mascots do well in life, decide to pull the team from the field. The stadium is bathed in a romantic glow as Hooper and Cozmo savor the moment. Netflix uses this to launch a new series, Mascots in Matrimony.

• A Major League Soccer official, combing through the data, realizes that FC Dallas was not awarded a full three points against Austin FC out of some accounting error. The result catapults Dallas into the playoffs. Austin, meanwhile, announces a twelve year contract extension for head coach Josh Wolff.

• Before the final decision day of the season, the Seattle Sounders abruptly fold and cease to exist. Some argue the reason why is that both Portland and Seattle can’t exist in the same universe, since they are essentially the same cities inhabited by the same people.

Exciting weekend, right? Lots of rich possibilities.